It's just me
by I.Will.Not.Be.Perfect.For.You
Summary: I like Lex Luthor, I've liked Lex ever since I broke into high security building and crashed his gala to get away from Superman. I know he's crazy and wants to end Superman before (so he thinks) Superman ends us (or enslaves all of humanity). When you're an empath, you know when someone is a socio or psychopath by instinct. Demented and twisted as he is I know there's a nice side.
1. Chapter 1

Yeah, so the weird thing is that when you- hypothetically start beating rich wealthy men for all that they have and then take all they have… you would expect to get on someone's radar. Like maybe a little, cause I live in Gotham and I think there's a group of bat themed losers who have nothing better to do to, you know notice.

I find out that my daycare is doing poorly because none of the dock workers can afford to pay rent, let alone daycare. So Single Dad Trying To Meet Ends Meet Mcgee goes to the neglectful Vietnamese lady (who already has a few of her own in the place) one floor down instead of me- long story short I broke a lot kneecaps. I mean a lot of kneecaps because I kept having to go up the chain to make sure that wages were being met. Which coincidentally is how I met Bruce Wayne. After all the you know "How did you get in my house?" and the classic "You don't have to do this" kind of thing. I apparently didn't need to break his kneecaps because he wasn't aware that money was being taken and pocketed. My daycare is doing better now that Mr. Wayne knows about what's going on so it's all good and suggested I stopped my kneecap business, but I really don't think I will.

Tangents, you will soon realize I go on a lot of those…

Well no Batman on my ass, which is nice, the IRS on the other hand…

Those guys do like to pick on the little guy who has immaculate tax papers with a lot of variables. Who also didn't exist until three years ago, from what they can see.

Well may as well introduce myself, My name is Valentine originally Valentina, but the league of assassins already had a Tina and they really didn't need two. They didn't need the first one in my opinion, but thats in the past because all but like ten of the League are dead. I also looked pretty boyish at five, since my hair was really short, because I would always get gum in my hair. So they changed my name from Valentina Mendoza to Valentine Mendoza, and mostly got me to forget the fact that my dad sold me and that my powers were for healing and helping.

Now you probably have a lot of questions, like "why are you beating up rich dudes, and you met Bruce Wayne?... Was he hot?"

Well I beat up the rich wealthy dudes who, well beat up their wives, and then use their rich wealthiness to entrap their wives and forcing them to endure the torture of their extravagant marriages that is 24k chains around their necks. So the wives come to me tell me what their lives are like, I hold their hands and see what they go through the pain they feel on a daily basis and decide if I take his money and beat him from an inch of his life tomorrow before dinner or next week when the daycare is closed for Christmas. I take all the money that man has and use ¼ of it to make a new identity for the woman, ¼ or more for a nest egg for the woman to adjust and make a new start with a job and ect, the other half gets washed through my daycare to help daycare expenses and women who were unfortunate enough to get non 1% shitbag husbands. And yeah Bruce Wayne is Daddy af. Like damn.

* * *

This is not my first story here, I used to post stories here all the time but then i purged them all because i realized that they were shit cause (at the time i thought) i was shit. I do not miss the pressing space so you have that indent so its easier to read the flow of the story. which is not going to be cool cause my next chapter kind needs it to go with the humor thats in it.~Imperfection Please


	2. I'm fucked

Remember how in the last chapter I kinda complained about how I wasn't getting any attention for beating the shit out of shit bags. Well I'm getting the attention my middle child syndrome so desperately wants. Superman is after me, ahem-

SUPERMAN IS AFTER ME.

FUCK.

MOTHERFUCKING SHIT

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT ASS NONSENSE NO NEED ABILITIES THAT MAKE MY PUNY ASS TINY THINKING PURPLE FLAMES EMPATH NONSENSE LOOK LITTLE UTTER BULLSHIT I SHOULD HAVE LEFT IN MEXICO LIKE GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I LEAVE GOTHAM TO DO _ONE_ JOB FOR THE WIFE OF THE BIG ECO GO FUCK YOURSELF COMPANY WITH HIS PILLAR OF THE MOTHERFUCKING COMMUNITY NONSENSE AND NOW- _NOW_ SUPERMAN IS AFTER ME LIKE DAMN. ALL I DID WAS BREAK HIS KNEECAPS AND TAKE ALL HIS MONEY AND PUT HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN INTO HIDING SO HE'LL NEVER SEE OR TOUCH THEM AGAIN. I NEVER EVEN GOT THE CHANCE TO BEAT HIS SMUG SOCIOPATHIC FACE IN FOR ALL THE LITTLE HE WAS WORTH.

THIS IS SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING.

I need to calm down and think I need a place to think and calm down. Now this is Metropolis meaning Lex Luthor or his building is here. Meaning Superman, proofing meaning time, meaning chance of escape, meaning getting to the daycare before Maria quits on me for too much overtime. Now I need to know where . is…

Oh, I'm on it.

Thank the Gods.

I look around see a few vents go to the one nearest to me and break that thing open and just jump in.

Then about plummet to my fucking death because from the gs I feel like I'm dropping, this is a straight down vent. With some meta enabled help I create a small heat barrier and begin to slow my decent long enough to clutch the walls around me and look for another vent. I am starting to see why Lex Luthor doesn't really invest in his security in the vents. Because these things are like made of aluminum foil. Which would be a problem if I couldn't float, but guess what I can. SUCK IT LEX. What I can see is that Lex instead spends a lot on electromagnetic things, for what I'm guessing are drones. So far no cameras which is good, cause I need to get to an elevator shaft so I can get to a lobby where I know their is a very popular cafe I know I can just pop in and out of. It's only *looks at watch* 10 pm….. SHIT. I really feel like punching a motherfucking wall right now. Making it out alive right now is the priority, so right now I'm just going to go on my phone and google Lexcorp and its hours. I want to know if I even _have_ options.

Oh.

OHHHHH

I HAVE FUCKING OPTIONS.

I have one option to be precise.

Lex Luthor is holding a charity PR bullshit gala and I have my emergency little black dress in my bag as well as my high heel stabbing stilettos. Only problem is makeup, I don't have any. Which you can guess is a problem, because who goes to a highly publicized even like this and doesn't wear make up? Then there's my barely 18 looking self who does _not_ fit the big busty blond criteria that is the hooker scene of Metropolis. Even though I am a petite knock out so you better not fucking forget it. So with no make up I'll practically look 16 and be kicked out. To which Superman will use his Superman-ness to find me and I guess out me. If it was Batman I'm sure my death would be in the equalization. Either way jail time cause even though I think what I'm doing is right does not mean the law does.

But if I Leave on the arm of some old rich guy who is into very young girls I can escape and get back to Gotham. Hopefully anyways. Gods please allow my nonsense for another day because I can't help raise Gotham out of its own pile of shit behind bars. Well I'll just head down to first floor find the Gala and then go to the bathroom change in a stall hide this backpack in the ceiling, and if anyone asks I was having a bad reaction to what was on my face so I washed it off. I have a pretty, innocent looking, and trusting face; so I have a chance.

Probably.

* * *

So I got three people to read the last chapter and so I am proud because I honestly thought I would get none. This story is more for me to get aqainted with my specific shitty writing style and i would like a review if possible. I wanna know what you think. ~Imperfect.


	3. party time part a

Takes me a while to get to the elevator shaft since I'm going in blind (WHICH YOU SHOULD NEVER DO), because the empathic imprints from ten years ago are barely anything to go by and is highly unreliable since the building has changed over the last few years. So I do eventually get to the bathroom required I do change and hide my backpack with my stealth clothes and ropes and all the good things I love so much that I have to leave behind because it'll be too suspicious. I put on my heels flush the toilet and walk out to wash my face in the sink and see how I look. I look fucking great, unlike everyone in the world, I have tiny ass tits, but this mid thigh black sleeveless dress. Really shows what I have. I turn around to look at the back that only barely covers my ass, the only thing keeping this on my body is the wraparound neck piece and the butt piece. I look sexy as fuck, now what I would do for some mascara and eyeliner to lose this stupid baby face.

"My gosh Honey what happened to your makeup?" I turn to see a busty bimbo blonde. Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason I guess. I see that the lady is tall, and in a slinky pink number that left so very little to the imagination. Which made me feel better about my tiny backless black dress.

"My face started burning." I let my eyes water so my real panic of hiding from Superman turns into panic of being out of place in a social situation. Which starts to bleed into real panic because that's almost as scary.

"Oh honey, the cheap stuff doesn't fit everyone." she takes one look at my baby face. "Is this your first time?" I'm going to stop calling her bimbo cause she's being really nice to me and I really need that right now.

It is now. I just nod and try not to cry because I am panicking just not for the reason she thinks and may as well use real emotions.

"Honey please don't, it's okay; you don't have to go home with the man you came with tonight."

"Yes, I do.." If I want to leave this place a free woman. "I can't leave unless I'm on someone's arm" I let out a sniffle.

"Or you're in trouble."

"Big time." you really have no idea.

She makes a face that just reads "Sweetie" and "How can I help?" and that really makes me want to cry. She then takes out her tinie tiny purse and hands me a china red lipstick and mascara. "My name is Dove. Yours?"

"Valentine." I sniffle and carefully apply the gifts given to me. I make two small dots on my cheeks with the lipstick and rub to give a small hint of blush. "Do I look ok?"

She nods and takes my small hand. "How old are you?"

"18" I look at her face and can see she almost believes me. "As of today." which is true thank you very much, December 13, 2015 is the day I turn 18. Today is December 13,2015.

"Happy birthday." she leads me out to a ballroom brimming with people, just drinking and laughing like nothing in the world mattered.

Oh geez social situations that involved talking to people. I know I was trained for this, but I am so bad with people outside of my generation. Baby boomers…

Really rich baby boomers, the kind I leave hanging by their ankles in their living rooms for their maids to find barely conscious in the morning.

Dove felt me tense up next to her and she smiled such a radiant smile. "Not from around these parts are you?"

"How can you tell?" I ask.

She points to her cheeks. "Its common enough, but I only ever saw it in Gotham." profiler here.

I nod, and we join a nearby group of people talking.

"Did you hear?" one older woman with large red hair and expensive looking earrings asked a balding man across from her.

"Hear what?" the balding man asked.

"Superman is here." she replied.

"Really?!" the genuine shock on his face.

"Yes I hear he lost some bank robber or something on the streets and the mongrel ran right in here!" she replied.

As the mongrel I did my best to look interested.

"I hear that Lex is arguing with him as we speak." another young woman chimed in. She is a pretty little thing with such pretty black and a very tight red dress. "He says no one could get through his security to leave him and his party alone."

Dove steers me away in hopes of more enlightening conversation to find more of the same, but with vary degrees of differences. We later decide to sit at the bar, order champagne, and talk girl talk, to wait for them to come to us. And they do, with the same conversation we've heard a dozen times by now. Around the 13th time we stopped feigning interest in all things Superman related.

* * *

Hello i am the author and I am saddly the only one reading this... sigh. ill get over it. i do know this is for me and people who also like this kind of ship where lex is found as not a bad guy which yes would be nice. and i think this will get better when i complete this story and the sex comes up. which was going to be next chapter but i cut this one in half because it was too long and i wasn't about that life so itll probably be the one after next. ttyl jus me fam. ~sad and imperfect.


	4. its partytime b

I look at the 14th man in as many minutes come up to me, flash his Rollex give me a blinding white grin on his chubby shit eating face and tries to open up conversation with "Superman."

"For the love of, he's not Batman; he's a super powered alien who has bad blood for the man upstairs. I am damn tired of hearing this constant Superman nonsense now leave me alone." I take a second to realize that I want one of these guys to take me home, but I also really don't. "I swear I would much rather hear about hedge funds then one more word about Superman."

Dove takes a sip from her champagne gives me a look, and says "that's Metropolis for you."

"Yeah he's all they talk about these days, no one wants to hear about my hedge funds anymore." says a very male voice behind me and my blood runs cold.

I turn around to see the most handsome bald man I have ever seen. Top 30 Under 30 Lex Luthor, and if anyone can figure out that I super don't belong here and that I was the reason Superman even showed. Ughhh…..

My turn to make a shit eating grin. "Mr. Luthor, I thought you were busy insuring Superman that the bandit/murder/MI6/CIA/whoever didn't break into your building?"

He smiled at me and my heart stopped. "Well after I checked with security and saw that no one broke in anywhere in my building let alone the vents. He left." He found absolutely no humor in me, his eyes were like stagnant dead water. All I did was pique his interest and if I didn't work fast I would just as quickly lose it. (I didn't realize till later that was probably the smart thing)

I have to sell the fact that I don't care cause this has absolutely nothing to do with me. "But I don't really care about that, I want to know about hedge funds, and how Wallstreet keeps saying your stock will plummet any day now."

And as though I had said a magic word I saw a glimmer a sign of life behind the cold deadness that is him. Someone who didn't want to talk about Superman.

"Who even reads Wall Street they've been spouting that for what? Three years now? Pfft. I'd rather take a buzzfeed quiz on what kind of bread I am." I keep eye contact. "I feel like I'm far more informed on the _knead_ to know information."

You would've missed the ripple in his eyes if you weren't watching and you would have definitely missed the flash of the real smile that came of hearing a bad pun. Something I honestly doubt anyone has ever told him to his face in many years.

I let my panic spill out as humor as I tell him more puns finding out that he likes them.

And then I see blush,small and faint but I can see that it's there and I can also feel the embarrassment of what feels like impending doom. I can instantly see he is bringing himself up to say a risky pun. I see him take a gulp weigh his options, because until now I haven't let him get a word in edgewise. "Is that a mirror in your pocket?"

I blush deep scarlet knowing where this is going, but enjoying a man who was once as cold and dead as stagnant water, turn out to be bursting with life just hidden a little beneath the surface. His full radiant smile was so infectious my legs twitched.

He leaned in right by my ear, "Because I can see myself in your pants."

I thought I was blushing, but oh boy when a handsome man like that tells you a line like that no matter how silly it was. You blush. He smells nice. "I know this is your party and you've got to be busy." he stiffens because it really sounds like I'm blowing him off. "But can you make sure to add me to your todo list at the end of the night?"

He steps back looks at me takes my hand and kisses it, then he nods. I can feel the anticipation just radiate off of him.

Once he left I instantly swiveled around to look at Dove who was staring at me. Complete and utter surprise was slapped me across the face. "OH MY GOD!" I whisper yelled to her leaning in freaking out. High on the fact that I snagged the guy every girl in this joint was vying for.

"AHHHH!" she whisper yelled back leaning in too, grabbing hold of my bare hands. I only felt joy through her fingertips and I realized I have a friend for life because oh my god I'm going home with Lex Luthor. Holy shit immunity for everything I'm going back to Gotham in the morning thank the gods I'm going to make it.

* * *

oh baby you got what i need, i know you know whats gonna happen next. SEXY TIMES ARE A COMMIN' no one is interested in Lex. sigh, i know someone who is as much as trash will know what i mean when they read this. I know this is for me for me to shake the old cob webs. cause when i write its like my hands themselves are trying to write things that my brain havent even thought of thinking because they move so fast. and i didn't even know i missed writing. I'm not good at it but i like how i write and who is this for but me? because when you realize there is only one person in the world for you is you. first youre sad and deny and laugh with people who wont be there. but who is with you now? who is with you when your in pain? or trying to get you? its just you and you need to come first. its a hard lesson to learn. i still don't like it but this is a long thing no one will read to begin with anyways. ~myname is val


	5. Chapter 5

The gala is coming to a close and Dove just left on the arm of an old bag of bones, she was probably hoping to ditch. So I was alone and feeling like i should probably leave too. As I was getting ready to leave and brave my chances of fleeing Superman. Some talk man with rich black hair noticed and came up to me.

I could tell he was packing just by the way he walked, the silk tie and suit told me he was a plain clothes rent a cop. Not something the casual observer would notice, if I was any drunker I wouldn't of noticed…

"Madam, Mr. Luthor would like if it if you waited for him in the main gallery." the way this rent a cop said this made me hesitate. He was being coaxing as if he thought I would probably run. Meaning he knows or think he knows I don't belong. "He just needs to say goodbye to his guests." he reassures.

Which is not reassuring.

He is the cheese and the main gallery is the mouse trap.

I look over his shoulder and see what my chances are at politely leaving this establishment, and I catch Lex Luthor's eye.

He nods, as if to say "go with the nice gentleman, I'll be there soon." and i believe him and without really thinking I follow the nice gentleman not too far away on the first floor to the "Main Gallery."

I am a mouse.

A cheese eating mouse.

That is exactly what I am.

"He'll be here shortly." the man nods at me.

I nod back and turn away from the door, I don't turn around or change my posture when I hear a soft almost indistinguishable click of an electric lock.

Ok i'm not a mouse, I am a parakeet and i'm in a cage.

Ra's I am sorry for failing you in such a way, I wish you were here to beat me for insolence and take me back to the mountains. Oh that would be a nice day, but Ra's is dead.

Oh why did I let my guard down like this? Why do I just let this guy lock me in a cage, and I'm fine with it as long as i get to see him again? Oh, boy.

I know I'm being watched, so I keep my posture calm and collected as I look at all the gallivanting wealth I am surrounded by. The priceless art, the priceless first edition books, the priceless old reflects that i really do not care about.

So I make a point of looking at each and every camera in the room, more entertained by the ranking of difficulty the cameras are.

Then I feel him, Lex Luthor standing behind the door, not even twenty feet away from me. I can feel him just standing there, waiting. I don't change my posture I just stare vacantly at an old painting.

I only turn when I hear the door open behind me. I look him in the eye and I smile my best smile, "you sure do like to keep a girl waiting." I raise an eyebrow at him.

All confrontation he had in him evaporates. "Sorry about that, investors."

I nod. "I'm not surprised." I go to stare at another painting.

He begins to tell me about the geometric shapes and how your eyes naturally follow the lines in the way the artist wants you too.

And I yawn. "No offense, but Lex Luthor probably has way more interesting things to show me." I meant the thing in his pants, but i think he's thinking about something else.

He smiles and my knees go weak. "Alright I'll show you something interesting." he leads me away, to an elevator and we go up a few floors and into a lab with the usual lab and scopes and such. But at one end of the wall there's a big two way mirror and that's where Lex leads me. For a second we're staring at our reflexions, but then Lex begins to tap away at his phone and the lights go on and I see a big as block of green glowing space rock.

"Kryptonite is supposed to surprise or interest me." I give him a look that says, "You're Lex Luthor, I'm surprised you don't have this sitting in the atrium when you walk in the front door."

"This isn't the impressive part." he walk not too far away and hands me a pair of thick goggles that greatly impair my vision.

Then I see several bright lights what I assume are lasers infiltrate and explode the meteorite. Which was probably the prettiest thing I've seen in a while. "That was neat." I remove my goggles and look at Lex. "But not very surprising, I bet there is nothing in this building that would surprise me."

"Look inside the room." he said simply.

I do and I see that the entire floor is covered in shiny glowing green blocks the size of Rubik's cube. "Double neat."

Lex types away at his phone and he walks into the Rubik's cube room, picks one up and hands one to me. "Here you go." he threw the little green block at me. "Yours now."

"This is ten grand." I say looking at the block. "I could start a cartel." I say blatantly.

"10,000 is enough to start a cartel? That's not even enough for a decent start up."

"Really I started mine with $10 and a box of old pizza." I look around me. "I don't have a purse."

"What woman doesn't wear a purse, what about your wallet?"

"My phone case is my wallet, old ladies only wear purses now a days."

He walks over to a cabinet and gives me a lab coat. "You're going to need this." he drapes the coarse white material around my shoulders, and our eyes meet.

He's so close to me, "Come on, there's more to see."

And like that he's gone, and like a stupid little puppy in really high heels I follow him. To several labs on several floors, all in heels and all I want is to be closer to him.

* * *

i want yall to know that the sex is a commin cause i dreamt it all last night. but this already too long.


End file.
